Mother's Day 2011..

Mother's Day: The day dedicated to those of us females who have given birth to and/or raised one or more children. This particular Mother's Day is a day of mixed emotions for me. I really don't know sometimes where to start when I feel like this. On special days I tend to think and consider things. It's not necessarily about anything in particular but just whatever comes to me and feels important at the time.

Today wasn't a day I anticipated. May 8th was the day we'd declared to be our first cat's birthday. We didn't have an exact date for it so we made one up but it just caused me to think about him today. We had to put him down a couple years ago now because of skin cancer. He hadn't been himself for a while... but the whole thing was a little sudden and sad. Thinking about Fritzy this morning, I contemplated how much he was missed at times around the house.

Both my "boys" (Mr.B. and Wonder Schmud) have been feeling ill for a few days now. As a result, we all slept in. I was the first awake and felt kind of sad right off the bat. I went on the internet while I was waiting for them to wake up and people I know on Facebook were talking about wishing people a happy Mother's Day and they listed their moms, friends, relatives, and then extended it to those playing the roles of mother including single dad's. Well, single dad's have a day for them NEXT month. I don't get why they have to be included in this one. Somehow in the inclusion of so many, it seems to take away from the actual recipients. It wasn't a great start...

I checked my text messages and had a very brief message from my daughter, Miss Girly-o, on her way to work. A simple message but enough to let me know that she hadn't forgotten me. Then the boys began to rise... and a message appeared on Facebook from my son, after which he came to give me a hug in person. Then my husband came out of the shower and gave me a smile and some well wishes. Brunch was made by my son... my favourite... hashbrowns and sausages. We will often have eggs as well but he was making it all himself and was worried about messing it up so we skipped eggs. It was perfectly prepared! :) The rest of the afternoon was low key as I just hung around online working on some things with my blog and catching up on what people were up to.

Miss Girly-o and her String Bean came by after she was done work with a chicken supper and their copy of Monopoly Canada. We played for a bit before it was time for them to head for home to prepare for the new work week. We didn't finish a game but we called it, liquidating our properties to determine a winner. Surprisingly enough, I won! ;) It wasn't as animated as our family times usually are because of the boys not feeling well but it was certainly adequate and FAR better than last year. :)

Mother's Day last year was a day full of tears as I fluctuated between sadness, anger, loneliness, and a multitude of other emotions at the thought of motherhood and my firstborn. At that point, our family was not together because Miss Girly-o had left our family home without warning and severed any ties that remained after the teenage years and her launch into adulthood. Not knowing where she was and if she was okay for months was the worst feeling I'd experienced as a mother. I hope that one day all those things will be able to be put totally behind us as we can feel free to forge ahead into happier days. For now, I just hope and pray to never have to go through something like that ever again in my life as I experience the reminder of that other Mother's Day and the gutwrenching feelings that accompanied it not so long ago.

Perhaps next year won't have this roller coaster kind of effect on me. One can hope anyway.

Dee..