the gift of caring and friendship..

Tonight we are attending a Christmas banquet. It's at our church and we're quite excited about it. We've been commandeered to cook a turkey but other than that, and a short reading our daughter is doing about the carol Silent Night, we're just looking forward to attending. We have invited a few friends and after a busy week of errands, baking, and other preparations for the holiday, it will be a welcome opportunity to socialize.

There were some people we invited that were unable to make it due to other obligations and parties but that's ok. We'll connect another way at some point. There was one family that got taken down by the flu bug just a day or two ago. I sure hope they will be feeling better soon. The flu has been nasty this year.

It's funny how things have changed since I was a little girl. We used to go visiting quite regularly. Often it was with extended family but also the odd friend or neighbour. I've often wondered what happened that this has changed so much. Why do we think we need to be so busy? How did we get our priorities so messed up? I really believe that the world has become so self-focussed that we are losing our ability to communicate effectively with others.

Oh, sure. We can relay messages about business or appointments. We can even make small talk pretty effectively. But what about really connecting with our friends and neighbours. What about really KNOWING them? Do you know the people who live on either side of you? How well? Do you know what their favourite colour is? Do you know their favourite foods or what they care about? Our relationships these days have become so superficial that it is quite sad, really.

What can we do about it? Well, I'm hoping that our family has made a start. We've made a conscious effort to get involved in the lives of those around us. We've begun to talk about things that matter more often. Small talk has it's place, but it can't account for all our interactions. It doesn't take big things to make connections. It just takes showing some interest in someone else's life other than your own. Feel for them in their situations and express that caring.

I was talking with a neighbour a couple days ago whose husband works out of town for a month or so at a time. They have a toddler and she works outside the home so she's a busy lady. As we chatted, I found out that while she's very busy most days she's also been struggling with loneliness and perhaps a bit of weariness while not having her husband around in the evenings. She needed to know that someone cares.

I offered to have coffee with her now and again if we can both manage it. I am also busy most days but sometimes I need that outlet of having someone to talk with, too. And obviously, one person cannot be everything to everyone in their life. However, I CAN be something to someone. I can be a friend to break up the monotony of the days or maybe even to be available now and again if she needs a helping hand with something. After all, little children don't always allow us to get done what we need to when they are small. When you add that to the mix...

Another neighbour had the flu so we decided to make homemade chicken soup that evening for lunch the next day so we could take some over to her and her little family. It might sound like a lot of effort but it really isn't. We have to eat anyway and who doesn't enjoy a nice steaming bowl of chicken soup in the winter? It can be done while doing other things and it can provide for both families at once so really not a lot of extra effort. Those kinds of things say that you care and they warm the hearts of those around you.

Have you ever noticed how grouchy people can get? Even at a time like Christmas, things don't always go right and a simple thing like a smile can go a long way toward making someone's day just that little bit brighter. I would challenge you to begin to be a bright spot in your neighbourhood, your workplace, and even in your own home. Connect with people everyday in some little way and you will regain something important that is being lost these days. Give the gift of caring and friendship that is being seen less and less.

Dee..